Katherine Jackson: 'Michael's Death Brought Us Closer'

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She was the face of resilience as the world mourned the loss of her son. But in a new interview published almost one year after Michael Jackson's unexpected death, Katherine Jackson is sharing her family's private pain.

"It has been a daily battle to cope with our loss," Jackson, who received full custody of her grandchildren, Prince, 13, Paris, 12, and Blanket, 8, tells the U.K.'s Mirror.

"I wanted to hang pictures of flowers or ballerinas in Paris's room, the sort of things I expected a girl would like," Jackson, 80, says. "But she went into a closet and she brought out seven or eight pictures of Michael, and she told me, 'No, I want daddy hanging in my room.' "

"So she goes to bed looking at him," she says, "and wakes up looking at him. She said, 'I always want to be able to see him.' "

Just Like Dad

Each of Michael's children mourns his death in his or her own way, and all three show glimmers of their famous dad.

Says Katherine: "Paris has that lovely way, just like him, and I see his talent in her … She's a good artist, she plays the piano and she wants to be an actress. Prince is serious about a lot of things. He wants to be a cameraman or produce movies … And Blanket is very playful, like Michael was."

The children also draw on their close-knit family for support as they continue to grieve.

"They don't have any friends," Katherine says. "They don't go to school; they have private lessons at home, but that will change in September when they are due to enroll at private college. But they have their cousins and aunts and uncles around them constantly, and that's helped them tremendously."

Their father also shielded them from life in Hollywood, from his public image, as much as possible. "He said, 'I never told them what I do,' Jackson says. "He didn't want them walking around with egos."

It wasn't until his 30th anniversary concert in 2001 that Jackson's kids had an inkling of what a global superstar their dad was.

"The two little ones were in the audience," she says, "[and] Michael got backstage and they said, 'You're a big star! When I grow up, I want to be like you!' Michael said that gave him the biggest chuckle."

The Healing Process

One looming question for Jackson, though, involves his cause of death. She shoots down speculation that her son died of natural causes. "He was too young for that," she says. "I heard from people that he was taking prescription drugs but I never saw my son in any way drugged."

"If I could see him again," she says, "I would want to know one thing: 'Who did this to you?' "

As the Jackson family heals and moves forward, Katherine says she's optimistic that the family will stick together. "I hope that the next year will be better for us all," she says.

"Michael's death brought us closer," Jackson continues, "and I want us to be even closer still. I know Michael would have wanted that, too."

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